Doctor Who Slash

[munnin]

Title: Chasing Shadows

Author: Munnin

Beta: Elanor

Characters: Fifth Doc, Adric, Ninth Doc,Tenth Doc.
Rating: G

Notes/Disclaimer: I make no money and do this only for the need to get it out of my head. Doctor Who characters belong to the BBC not me. No money, right!

 

Chasing shadows

 

Yet another argument had ended in Adric storming away in disgust with Nyssa chasing after him to make the peace and see to it that he didn’t get himself into trouble again.

 

“You shouldn’t be so hard on him,” Tegan snapped.

 

“Tegan!” the Doctor began but caught himself in time, taking a deep breath to still his temper. “I think it would be best if you went back to the TARDIS too.” She was on the verge of starting a good old fashion rant when he caught her by the arm. “Please Tegan. I’d rather you were all safely inside.”

 

“Are we in danger?” she asked, dropping her voice cautiously.

 

“I don’t think so but I’d much rather be sure. Please go. I’ll join you shortly.” He pushed her gently away and for once she didn’t argue but took off through the trees towards the TARDIS.

 

“I haven’t felt that in a while.” the Doctor said to the empty air.

 

“What?” a voice asked as a long body detached itself from the shadows. “That echoing feeling of being watched with your own eyes?”

 

“Something like that, yes.” The Doctor eyed the leather jacketed figure. “I’ve met a few of my regenerations but…”

 

“I’m from a long way off,” the stranger said quietly, “a long, long way off.”

 

They circled each other, each taking their measure of the other. “May I ask…?”

 

“No. And you know I can’t answer.”

 

There was a sadness in his tone that made the Doctor reach out and take his hand. “Then why bring me here? We’ve bent the rules before but only in an emergency.”

 

“I shouldn’t have. I know.” The stranger pulled his hand free, turning his face away so the Doctor couldn’t see. “But I had to tell you…”

 

“Then tell me.” the Doctor challenged, stepping forward even as his other self stepped away.

 

“Cherish him,” came the forlorn answer.

 

“Cherish who?”

 

“You know who.” the stranger cried, swinging around to catch the Doctor by the shoulders, “For the love of Rassilon cherish him. It’ll be too soon and it’ll be forever.” The sudden action caught the lanky body off balance and the Doctor caught him as he fell, lowering him to the ground.

 

The stranger dropped his head to his hands as if suppressing a great tide of passion. “Love him,” he whispered painfully, “love him before you have to morn him.”

 

The Doctor caught the long face and tilted it to meet his own. “I will,” he said simply, dropping a fleeting kiss on the furrowed brow. “I promise.” And he walked away, never looking back.

 

Comfort in echoes

 

As Nyssa screamed Adric’s name, the Doctor at last understood the true gravity of those words. Even as the girls fell into each others arms sobbing, he could do nothing but stare into the empty space of console room that had once held a third companion. It was too soon. And it was forever. Not till Tegan’s angry cry did he even look up but he had not words to comfort her. Or Nyssa.

 

Three days it took to repair the console and restore control of the TARDIS. The Doctor worked constantly, never speaking or stopping, not even for rest or nourishment. Losing himself in the task even against the savagery of Tegan’s tirades. Nyssa left her room only to drag Tegan away when the fits of angry and grief overwhelmed her.

 

“How can he be so cold!” she demanded, kicked the wall fierily as she had come so close to doing to the Doctor. “How can he just go on like nothing happened! He’s never even...Ahh” she howled in frustration, throwing herself down on Nyssa’s bed.

 

“I’m sure he honours Adric in his own way.” Nyssa whispered tightly, fighting her own grief.

 

“And what’s that then? Tinkering?” she hissed but Nyssa’s quiet sobs broke her rant. She pulled the other women into a hug and sighed. “I just hope he knows what he’s doing.”

 

***

The TARDIS shuddered protest as the Doctor tried to wrench open the door before dematerialisation was complete. He barrelled thought the forest to the clearing where his other self still sat, shoulder hunched and eyes lowered.

 

The stranger rose, rolling with the punch with the instincts of someone who remembers throwing the blow. He caught the Doctor’s fist and twisted it away as the second punch came towards his chest, pulling the Doctor into an embrace. “I know. I know,” he whispered, lowing them both to the ground and stroking the ash blond hair as the Doctor wept into his shoulder.

 

“You should have warned me,” the Doctor whispered, clinging to the long frame of his latter self.

 

“I did.”

 

“But I couldn’t…I didn’t get a chance to… I never found a way…he was so awkward!” he buried his head in the black leather of the other man’s jacket trying to control the great shudders of emotion that ripped through his body.

 

“You haven’t mourned him.” It was more statement than question.

 

“What right to I have to mourn him?” The Doctor’s eyes blazed with passion. “I failed him! What right do I have to grieve his passing? I never showed him the love he deserved.”

 

“But you loved him never the less,” The stranger tangled his fingers in the Doctor’s hair, “and will never stop loving him.” He reached into the pocket of his jacket and fished out a piece of the gold star, sparkling in the fading moonlight.

 

“Still?”

 

“Always.”

 

“Should I stop? Should I take them home? Nyssa and Tegan I mean. They can hardly be safe with me.”

 

The stranger sniggered quietly. “Do you really think you can get Tegan back to Heathrow? Besides you know Nyssa has not home to go back to.”

 

The Doctor dropped his head. “My fault too.”

 

The stranger shifted to look into the Doctor’s eyes. “Look, I won’t lie. The path ahead’s not pretty. You’ve got no idea the sort of shit you’ll have to go through before you’re where I am now.” The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the expletive but didn’t comment. “And it’s going to hurt. More than you’ll ever know but don’t give up. On them or us. Losing Adric’s one of the most painful things we’ll know for a long time but it makes you realise how much you cherish them. They make the journey worth it.”

 

The Doctor caught the stranger’s hand and squeezed it. Something about the cracking tone of his voice made the Doctor think this was the longest speech his latter self had given in some time. “So where is your companion?”

 

“I…” the stranger faltered and lowered he’s eyes. “I travel alone.”

 

“Don’t you think that’s just a touch hypocritical?” This fetched a little laugh from the tall man. “I need to get back to Nyssa and Tegan. They’ll be wondering where I’ve gone.”

 

The stranger rose and they walked silently to the edge of the clearing hand in hand and with a fleeting kiss, parted. 

 

***

 

Tegan paced the room at it as Nyssa leant on the console facing the door, her lower lip red where she had chewed nervously. As soon as the door opened Tegan flew at the Doctor and he caught her in a hug, beckoning Nyssa to join them. There they stood for some time as the girls weeping into each others arms till the tears subsided.

 

Tegan accepted the proffered handkerchief with a most undignified sniffle. “So what do we do now?”

 

The Doctor brushed the curls out of Nyssa’s eyes and gave her a brave little smile. “I’m afraid I don’t know the morning rituals of Adric’s people but I think we should do something Adric would have enjoyed.”

 

“Spend an evening doing math puzzles?” Tegan asked with a snort.

 

“No,” Nyssa said quietly, “food. A really good meal.”

 

“My thoughts exactly. And I happen to know a particularly good restaurant in Rome. Shall we?”

 

Ripples and reflections.

 

“So we’re going where exactly?” Turlough asked, pawing curiously at the controls.

 

“To see a friend.” The Doctor answered curtly “You two stay here.”

 

Turlough looked like he was about to make some snide comment but Tegan caught a glimpse of the coordinates.  “We’ll be here when you get back Doctor,” she said shooting a dirty look at Turlough that dared him to argue but the Doctor was already out the door and gone.

 

***

 

The Doctor wasn’t at all surprised to see a figure waiting in the clearing but he wasn’t expecting the small, pinstriped clad man that stood there, scuffing the leaf litter with bright white sneakers.

 

The man looked up suddenly. “Hello! I really didn’t mean to... I just came here to think. Funny old spot isn’t it. Didn’t mean to call you really. Well, when I say didn’t really mean to, I mean I’m glad you here and all.”

 

The Doctor watched tears trickle down the boyish cheeks even through the smiles and babble. He step forward meaning to address the man but found himself wrapping his arms around the small figure. “I know. I know.” He whispered into the dark hair.

 

“Tell me again,” the smaller man sobbed breathlessly. “Tell me what I told you. Tell me her company was worth the pain of losing her. Please!”

 

“Did you cherish her?” the Doctor asked, stoking the smaller man’s back. The dark head bobbed in nod against his shoulder.

 

“Did she know that?” Again the smaller man nodded, sniffling damply.

 

“Then yes. It’s worth the pain.” He sat down and cradled the man till the sobbing subsided.