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Notes for Joe
Mar. 31st, 2018 11:44 pmRed settled down on the bench opposite Ginger, hands moving in the firelight. I don’t remember my life as a clone trooper. I was injured in battle. I lost my memories. He pointed to his throat and the twisted scar, And my voice. I met Rebec and Eva by chance. They’ve told you this story?
“Part of it, yes.” Ginger snapped irritably. “But not all of it. All my life I’ve only had half the story. They never told me you were a clone. Just a man.”
I am just a man. A man with no memory of his past. But the past caught up. The war too. It burnt the world I loved.
“The Battle of the Bushfire.” Ginger nodded. “Mum and Aunt Eva told me about it. Or at least some of it. They came because of you, didn’t they? The Separatists.”
And the Republic army. My squad.
“Your old family?”
My brothers. They’d been searching. To take me back. Red shook his head. I loved Rebec. My life on Silvestri VII. I couldn’t leave. Then the Purge happened- He broke off, hand still as he looked down at them, as if they weren’t a part of him. One metal, one scarred flesh.
“What happened exactly? The Purge- they say the clones murdered their Jedi commanders just like that. Did you-” The question had been burning in Ginger’s mind since the day he realised his father might be a clone but now he knew, he couldn’t say it. Couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.
Red shook his head slowly. It didn’t happen to me. Whatever it was that turned them. But I still ran. My squad would find me. I hoped I could trust them. If the Empire came, they would come for me. No Rebec and Eva.
“But it didn’t work?”
New leadership; no-one left to trust. Red shook his head. They knew about my family. They lured me out. I had to lead them away. Away from here.
“Away from Rebec and Eva.” Ginger nodded
Republic turned to Empire. War turned to atrocities. I saw things I couldn’t turn away from. Men with my face, my hands. I saw them murder. Without mercy. Without remorse.
He flexed his hand again, the metal fingers glinting in the firelight. I still had trooper’s instincts. Knew how to fight. So, I fought the killers. But I became one. Worse, I made them killers too. He nodded to the two big cats as one of them trotting over to beg a scratch.
“It was a just cause. You were protecting people.” But Ginger didn’t sound half as convinced as he wanted to sound.
No cause is just enough. Not for what I did. Too much blood on my hands. Too much to ever touch Rebec again. I killed men I should have called brother. Men with my face. I didn’t recognise that face in the mirror anymore. I was getting old and tired. There was no going back. I just waiting for one to them to kill me. To be done with it all.
“How did you join the Rebellion?”
Death never came. I took the cats, started again. He petted the cats affectionately, listening to their rumbling purrs. Had a farm on Dantooine when the Rebels first came. Started by selling them food. Helped repair ships. Just listened to the chatter. Went with them to Yavin IV. Seemed like the right thing to do.
“Part of it, yes.” Ginger snapped irritably. “But not all of it. All my life I’ve only had half the story. They never told me you were a clone. Just a man.”
I am just a man. A man with no memory of his past. But the past caught up. The war too. It burnt the world I loved.
“The Battle of the Bushfire.” Ginger nodded. “Mum and Aunt Eva told me about it. Or at least some of it. They came because of you, didn’t they? The Separatists.”
And the Republic army. My squad.
“Your old family?”
My brothers. They’d been searching. To take me back. Red shook his head. I loved Rebec. My life on Silvestri VII. I couldn’t leave. Then the Purge happened- He broke off, hand still as he looked down at them, as if they weren’t a part of him. One metal, one scarred flesh.
“What happened exactly? The Purge- they say the clones murdered their Jedi commanders just like that. Did you-” The question had been burning in Ginger’s mind since the day he realised his father might be a clone but now he knew, he couldn’t say it. Couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.
Red shook his head slowly. It didn’t happen to me. Whatever it was that turned them. But I still ran. My squad would find me. I hoped I could trust them. If the Empire came, they would come for me. No Rebec and Eva.
“But it didn’t work?”
New leadership; no-one left to trust. Red shook his head. They knew about my family. They lured me out. I had to lead them away. Away from here.
“Away from Rebec and Eva.” Ginger nodded
Republic turned to Empire. War turned to atrocities. I saw things I couldn’t turn away from. Men with my face, my hands. I saw them murder. Without mercy. Without remorse.
He flexed his hand again, the metal fingers glinting in the firelight. I still had trooper’s instincts. Knew how to fight. So, I fought the killers. But I became one. Worse, I made them killers too. He nodded to the two big cats as one of them trotting over to beg a scratch.
“It was a just cause. You were protecting people.” But Ginger didn’t sound half as convinced as he wanted to sound.
No cause is just enough. Not for what I did. Too much blood on my hands. Too much to ever touch Rebec again. I killed men I should have called brother. Men with my face. I didn’t recognise that face in the mirror anymore. I was getting old and tired. There was no going back. I just waiting for one to them to kill me. To be done with it all.
“How did you join the Rebellion?”
Death never came. I took the cats, started again. He petted the cats affectionately, listening to their rumbling purrs. Had a farm on Dantooine when the Rebels first came. Started by selling them food. Helped repair ships. Just listened to the chatter. Went with them to Yavin IV. Seemed like the right thing to do.
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