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munninTitle: We end at the beginning and begin again at the end.
Author: Munnin with lots of help and support from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
faile_neume
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Dick, Tim, Jay, Steph, Damian.
Verse: Band!AU Future Fic
Warnings: mentions of character death
Disclaimer: No ownership, no profit and no offence meant. Everyone is of the age of consent in their country and period of history.
Author’s notes: 100% organic. May contain minor flaws and imperfections that beta-treated slash wouldn’t. Big thanks to Just for looking it over for me.
Bingo card: AU. Future: Author's Choice. Masterlist here.
Summary: Ten years after the death of their father and mentor, can Damian bring the family back together of the sake of the city Bruce loved?
Author’s notes: Justine and I started bouncing this idea around a long time ago but it never felt like the right time to share it. Maybe now is. This isn’t the end for the Band!AU and I have no plans on giving up writing it just yet but maybe it’s time to tell this part of their story.
“We’re closed!” Jay shouted as the front door jangled. He was shifting a crate of pint glasses as the figure crossed the floor. Almost automatically Jay sized the young man up – tall but lean with long black hair that hid his face. He felt his knuckles itch with unknown threat. “Didn’t you hear me? Fuck off. We’re closed.”
“Even to family.” The young man flicked his hair back, smiling almost shyly.
“Oh D!” Jay grabbed the young man and dragged him into a hug. “Nearly didn’t recognise you, kid!”
“Forgive me. I should have visited sooner.” D whispered, leaning gratefully into the embrace.
“Damn straight!” Jay let him go. “But the amount of touring you’ve been doing, it’s no shock you haven’t got time for family.” He shuffled around behind the bar. “What are you drinking?”
“Jason, you are aware I’m not 21 for another month?” Damian asked with a raised eyebrow.
Jason just glared at him. “D. I was slipping you drinks when you were sixteen. What makes you think I’d care now?”
Damian grinned. “The inescapable fact that it is now your liquor licence on the line?”
“Good point. Zesti then?”
Damian took a deep draft of the soda. “I didn’t know anyone outside Gotham actually drank this?”
Jay shot him a smile and poured himself a drink. “They don’t. I stock it for Tim when he visits. Cheers.” They tapped glasses. “Speaking of which, to what do I own this massively overdue visit?”
“Are the bonds so strained that I need a reason to visit my brother?” Damian asked with teasing incredulity
“Yes.” Jason said sharply. “D, I haven’t had so much as a postcard from your sorry ass since Alfred’s funeral. You turn up in my bar randomly after three years, so yes, I’m asking why.”
Damian scuffed his boots, a nervous gesture from better times. “Lucius Fox contacted me. There’s a benefit concert for the rebuilding of Gotham City. He wants us to play.”
“Have you asked the others yet?” Jay asked quietly as he polished off his glass and poured another drink, somewhat stronger than the first.
Damian pushed the overly long hair back from his face, looking more like Dick than Bruce. “No...I was hoping you’d help me convince them.” He fiddled with the bottle in his hand, not meeting Jay’s eye. “I haven’t spoken to Dick since...”
“Since you grew up and decided you didn’t need him?’ Jay asked blatantly. “You really do take after him you know.”
“I just needed to be my own man.” D sighed. “I never meant for it to become so...hurtful.”
Jay wandered around the bar, dropping a hand to the youth’s shoulder. “He did the same to Bruce years and years ago. Broke each other’s hearts.” He pulled Damian into a hug. “He loves you, he’ll understand.”
“Really?”
“Eventually.” Jay cautioned.
Damian dipped his head shamefully. “I'm not even certain how to get in touch with him. He went off the grid after we...”
“Don’t worry, I’ll find him.” Jay touched D’s chin, seeing the doubt in the young man’s eyes. “Hey I found you during Exodus, didn’t I? Let me handle it.” He patted Damian’s shoulder. “So, heard much from the other two?”
“Tim helped me with my last record.” Damian smiled. There was a note of envy and affection in his voice. Tim and Damian had always shared a strange, unspoke bond and Jay often wondered if D’s solo career would have done as well without Tim’s contacts in the industry. “He runs that studio so efficiently. Alfred would be proud.” The Pennyworth Recording Studio was now almost as famous as Abbey Road.
“And the Girl Wonder?” Jay asked with an indulgently smile.
Damian blushed a little. “Is it shameful to admit I try to watch her show as often as I can?”
“Not at all.” Jay ruffled his hair. “She makes a great kid’s TV presenter. My daughters love her.”
Damian’s eyebrows shot up. “You have children?”
“Got a problem with that?” Jay challenged dangerously.
“Not at all!” Damian defended. “I just can’t imagine you as a father.”
Jason shrugged. “When I brought the bar, I kept on most of the bar staff, including Nicki. Her good-for-nothing ex left her with two black eyes and twin girls before I kicked his ass out. She stayed here for a while to get herself back together and we kinda hit it off. She manages the bar most nights while I work the door. I love her girls as my own.”
“I’m glad you for.” Damian said, genuinely if a little sadly. “No-one deserves happiness more.” He gave a shy smile. “At least you have an excuse to watch Steph’s show. I however, am just another sad fanboy lusting after someone I could never have.”
Jay patted him on the shoulder. “She loves you.”
“As a brother.” Damian said gravely, “And nothing more.”
“Her heart always belonged to Cass. You know that.”
Damian shrugged, still in part that teenage boy broken by his first crush.
Jay saw the unresolved pain in Damian’s eyes and changed the subject. “Do you want to do this concert?”
“Yes.” He said honestly. “It’s something I want...I need to do. Gotham was Bruce’s city and I need to be involved in its resurrection.” He looked up into Jay’s eyes. “But I’m afraid to do it alone.”
Jay snorted, remembering the lyrics of their songs. “Lost and scattered through the country I roam, but dark city calls me back...”
“And I’ll never be alone.” Damian finished with a teary smile.
Jay brushed the back of his hand over D's cheek. “Let me set up the spare room for the night. We’ll hop a plane in the morning and go see Tim.”
***
Damian pointed down an alleyway as Jay pulled the hire car over. “There’s a back door. It’ll be safer that way.” D said quietly as they climbed out.
“Are we expecting trouble?’ Jay asked quizzically, not sure why D was being so cautious.
“Some very famous artists record here. Sometimes the front door is not the best way in.” He slipped a key off his chain and fitted it to the lock, confidently guiding them though the maze of dimly lit corridors.
“Spend a bit of time here I take it?” Jay joked but saw the look on D’s face.
“I don’t really have what one might call a permanent address.” Damian said sadly. “Tim lets me stay whenever I’m in town.”
Jay felt a piece of the puzzle fall into place. His little brother was famous, handsome and lonely as all hell. When they’d been travelling as the Robins, home was wherever they were together but on his own, Damian was a lost child without roots.
“D...you know if ever you’re in Chicago, you’re welcome to stay with me.”
Damian glanced over his shoulder. “I couldn’t...I wouldn’t want to impose. You have a family after all.”
Jay pushed D against the wall with a gentle shove. “Yes and my daughters would love to meet their Uncle Damian. For fuck’s sake D! You are my brother, you’re always welcome in my home.” He cupped D’s cheek. “Never alone remember?”
D dropped his eyes, touching the hand that clutched his cheek gently. “Thank you Jason.”
“No.” Jay said strongly, “Don’t thank me, just don’t lock me out. I wanna help ok?”
Damian took Jay’s hand and brought it softly to his lips as Jay brushed back his hair.
“It’s going to be ok kid.” Jay promised. “Let’s go find Timmy shall we?”
Damian led them to the foyer, stopping for a moment in front of a large portrait of the studio’s namesake. “I miss him so.” D admitted, touching the edge of the frame with reverence.
“We all do.” Tim called quietly from the doorway, watching them with dark eyes. “He was as much a father to us as Bruce. More so sometimes I think.”
“Tim.” The dip of Damian’s lashes was almost as reverential.
“Welcome home Damian.” Tim turned a soft smile on Jay. “Good to see you again Jason. Look, I’ve got to finish up a couple of things here. Why don’t you guys let yourselves into the flat and I’ll join you in a few minutes.”
Tim’s tone was cool and professional and Jay would have called him on it except for the warm undercurrent he felt run between his two younger brothers. Jay clapped Damian on the shoulder. “Lead the way little D.”
He followed Damian to a small apartment at the back of the studio, overlooking a neat courtyard garden. “Timmy actually lives here.” Jay marvelled, “It’s very...him.” The rooms were Spartan, almost monastic in its orderliness.
“You’ve never been here?” D asked, stashing his bag in one of the rooms.
“No, Tim always visits me in Chicago. I’ve never thought to come bug him at home.”
“He’s grown very...private.” Damian said carefully, rattling around the compact kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. “But this life seems to suit him well and he’s very good at what he does.”
“No doubt.” Jay replied, worried by the neatness of everything. “But is he happy?”
“Most days.” Tim commented, pulling the door closed behind himself and locking the world beyond out. “Especially when I have my family here.” He pulled Jay into a hug. “Sorry about the brusque greeting. The band I was working with had journalists with them and I’ve learnt not to trust the media.”
“I can understand that.” Jay replied, returning the hug warmly. The band’s break up had been messy and public. The media speculation had made a bad situation even more painful. “Nice place you’ve got here.”
“Thank you.” Tim turned to Damian, touching the youth’s cheek fondly, drawing him in for a kiss. “Welcome home.”
Though gentle and warm, the kiss was enough to make Damian’s knees weak and he clung to Tim’s shoulders like a man drowning.
Jay watched, feeling more pieces fall in to place. Tim was D’s lifeline, his one connection to family and home and Tim had done what Steph never could – he showed D he was loved.
Damian let his head fall to Tim’s shoulder, relaxing into the embrace. “I missed you.”
“Shh, you’re here now. How about I fix us up some dinner? You’re too pale.” He stroked D’s face, “Fetch me some mint and oregano from the garden?”
“Gladly.” Damian darted in for another quick kiss, warm with colour for the first time since he’d appeared in Chicago.
“You disapprove?” Tim asked Jay as Damian slipped out into the garden.
“Hell no.” Jay muttered, taking a seat as the table as Tim started chopping onion. “Just realised how starved for love the poor kid is. I’m glad one of us is looking after him.” There was an undertone to his words, an unspoken accusation.
“Dick isn’t entirely to blame.” Tim reasoned, “They're too much alike sometimes.”
“Is that why you’re sleeping with him?” Jay teased jokingly.
Tim whipped around, his eyes so dark and dangerous Jay could almost hear the ice beneath him cracking.
“Hey I’m not judging.” Jay held his hands up defectively. “I’m glad, for both of you.”
Tim lowered the knife he was wielding. “I love Damian for who he is, not who he resembles.”
“Understood.” Jay backed off. “Hey I’ve got something for you.” He pulled a folded up page from his bag, handing it to Tim. It was a painting depicting five figures holding instrument shaped blobs in the wild and erratic style of two four year olds. “I’m informed the one in black is you.”
Tim ran his fingers over the painted surface, a soft smile spreading over his face. “I shall treasure it.”
“Your daughters are artists.” Damian observed as he carried in a handful of herbs.
“Have you not met our little Picassos?” Tim asked, rinsing the herbs off in the sink.
Jay shook his head, “Nic’s taken the girls to her mother’s for the holidays.” He held out a hand to force the hovering D to sit down. The kitchen was clearly not big enough for him to help without getting underfoot.
“I would like very much to meet them though.” Damian said dutifully with a small smile.
“So,” Tim called, closing the oven door. “While that’s baking, how about you tell me the reason behind this pleasant if unexpected visit?”
~~~
Tim listened as Damian explained the proposal Lucius brought to him. “The concert would mark the beginning of the resettlement of Gotham. Lucius wants us there because he feels the Robins would act as a beacon to call the people of Gotham home.”
Tim nodded, taking his words in. “What do you want Damian?”
The young man sighed, staring down at his hands. “I want...I want to go home.” He whispered, his words tinged with sadness. “It’s been nearly ten years but part of me will always crave that sense of belonging...” He trailed off, dropping his eyes, “It seems foolish-”
“Not at all.” Tim assured, taking D’s hand. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about what it would be like to go back.”
Jay chuckled darkly. “I already know where I’d set up my bar.”
“There’s something else.” D started, taking a deep breath. “Lucius mentioned an inheritance.”
“I know.” Tim said gently, squeezing D’s hand. “Tam Fox contacted me.”
“You knew?’ D pulled back, a little startled. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“I needed to know what you wanted first.” Tim assured, cupping D’s cheek. “I didn’t want to push you into a decision you weren’t ready to make.”
Jay looked from one to the other. “Planning to fill me in anytime soon?”
Tim sighed. “About of a third of all real estate in Gotham belongs to the Wayne Corporation or its subsidiaries along with considerable business assets. Bruce’s will specified that Lucius was to hold everything in trust to rebuild the city until the youngest of the beneficiaries came of age. In a month’s time D will turn twenty one and the four of us will affectively inherit a city.”
Jay sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Shit.” The enormity of it rolled over him. “Shit!”
“You see my dilemma.” Damian said softly. “Bruce may have wanted us to leave the city to its fate ten years again but it seems now that we have a chance to rebuild it.” He squeezed Tim’s hand. “Is it vanity to want to do so in his honour?”
“Not at all.” Tim whispered, a sad smile on his lips. “It seems appropriate.”
Jay looked his youngest brother in the eye. “What do you want D? How do you want to play this?”
“I want...” D breathed out, nervously. “I want to play the concert. I want us to be a family again, even just for one night. I want to rebuild the city my father loved and served. I want to know what it is to be home. And I want my brothers and sister with me when I do. I know it too much ask that any of you would stay but...”
“I’ll be at your side.” Tim whispered, pulling D into a soft kiss.
Jay shook his head. “Nic’s always wanted to live on the east coast. As long as there’s a good school for the girls and a bar with my name on it down by the docks, sign me up.”
Damian pulled him into a hug. “Thank you Jay.”
Jay pulled the young man close. “Don’t thank me kid. Just tell me what you need me to do.”
“Well the first thing we need to do is eat.” Tim announced, getting up the pull the lasagne from the oven. “Then we work out how to track down our wayward Robins.”
~~~
Tim emerged from the bedroom as Jay investigated the fridge. “Back left if you’re looking for the beers.” Tim called, flopping down on the couch. “Grab me one while you’re at it.”
“Cheers. Damian asleep already?” Jay asked, passing Tim a bottle and joining him on the couch.
“Twenty years old and he still sleeps more than any human being I’ve ever known.” Tim conceded with a sigh.
“So? You and lil’D hey?”
Tim growled. “Don’t be an ass about this Jay.” His tone was sharp and warning.
“I’m not. I just want to know how it happened. I mean D’s always been the kid you know?”
“That’s half the problem.” Tim took a long draft of his beer, pressing the cool glass to his forehead as he let his head fall back. “That’s the way Dick saw him, that’s the way Steph saw him. In their eyes he would always be the baby of the family, the one who needed protecting.”
Jay sniggered into his beer. “Not likely. Kid could kick my ass when he was eleven. Not that I would have admitted it then but..."
“Between his mother and grandfather he never got to be a child when he was that young and with us well...”
“We were a fucked up family to grow in.” Jay agreed.
“Still are!” Tim berated. “But it’s not what you think. I may love him and welcome him to my bed but I have never taken him. To the best of knowledge, Damian is still a virgin.”
Jay raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “You’re kidding right? I might have a blind spot about the baby brother thing but the kid grew up hot! You telling me you haven’t noticed?”
“I’m well aware of how attractive D is but that’s not what he needs from me. He needs someone to see him for who he is, a man in his own right. Part of that is not pushing him down the same path we took. If one day he should ask that me then...”
Jay eyed him darkly. “So you’re a monk now?”
“This coming from the man who shared a bed with Steph for years and never got any.” Tim bit back with a smirk.
Jay put the bottle down with deliberate care. “And how did you come to that conclusion boy detective?” There was a teasing menace to his tone.
“Elementary my dear Jason.” Tim grinned, leaning in to call Jay’s bluff. “You forget it was me you use to nail against the wall when the mood took you. You don’t think I know how frustrated you got?”
Jay pulled the beer out of Tim’s hand, dragging his fingers over the soft skin of Tim’s wrist. “So just how frustrated are you getting having the lil’D in your bed?”
Tim eyed him warily, trying to suppress the shiver that travelled through him. “You’re a happily married man Jay.”
“Yes I am.” Jay wrapped his arm around Tim’s waist, pulling the younger man into his lap. “Because I have a wonderful woman who knows and accepts me. Nicki knows about us and about how this family works. She’s cool with it.” He ran his hands down Tim’s flanks, pulling him up to straddle Jay’s legs. “It’s up to you if you’re cool with it.”
Tim closed his eyes as Jay’s hands slid under his shirt. “I wondered what she meant when she winked at me last time I visited. Oh...”
Jason smiled, dragging his nails over Tim’s skin just hard enough to leave red lines. “So Timmy? Just how frustrated are you?” He plucked at the fly of Tim’s tight black jeans, teasing his fingers though the mat of black curls. “I’m gunna guess a lot.”
Tim let his head fall back, trusting his weight to Jay as the older man stoked him, slow and teasing. “I...oh...” he sighed, arching up into his brother’s touch.
Jay buried his hand in Tim’s hair. “Come here babybird. Lemme look after you hey?” Tim’s lips tasted as sweet as he remembered but harder and hungrier.
Tim pushed Jay’s shirt open, his hands tight around his brother’s collarbone as he pushed up, letting Jay slide down his pants. “Jay I...?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t want this.” Jay growled, dragging the young man in to chase sharp kisses over his throat. “Don’t tell me you don’t need it.”
“I can’t.” Tim flicked him a hot smile, cocking his head to give Jay better access to his neck. “But it’s been a while.” He jacked back, his spine arching sharply as Jay’s stroking hand dipped lower. “Jay...” he whimpered as Jay’s calloused finger grazed over his hole.
“I’ve got you, babybird. Just let me look after you.”
~~~
Damian rolled over as Tim crawled in beside him. The older Robin’s skin was warm and slightly damp from the shower.
“Shh,” Tim whispered, stroking Damian’s hair and pressing a kiss to his younger brother’s forehead. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Damian shrugged, gratefully snuggling onto Tim’s arms. There was a dark mark on Tim’s throat and he reached out to touch it, brushing his fingers over the blooming bruise. “Jay?”
Tim nodded, holding himself still under his little brother’s touch.
“I’m sorry I can’t...be that for you.” Damian whispered mournfully. “I know it can’t be easy-”
Tim pressed a finger to D’s lips. “Hush.” He kissed his younger brother softly, cupping his cheek. “I just want you to be happy. I don’t expect you to want or need to follow the same path as the rest of us.”
“I just...” Damian shifted restlessly. “I wish I could repay your love.”
“You’re family Damian. There is nothing you need to repay.” Tim pulled him close, stroking the young man’s back. “I’ve cleared my schedule for the rest of the week. We’ll leave for LA in the morning to see Steph.”
“What about Dick?” The young man asked, almost fearfully.
“Leave that to Jay.” Tim assured, “He’ll find Dick. He’s always been a better tracker than me.” He kissed the top of D’s head. “He left half hour ago.”
“I’m afraid, Tim.” The young man whispered, “We parted on such bad terms.”
Tim hummed gently, “He loves you D. Let Jay talk to him.”
“And Steph?”
Tim sighed quietly, all too aware of the breach between them. “Let’s deal with that tomorrow shall we?”
***
Steph shook her hair out as she left the studio, pushing it back from her face with a sigh. Filming kids TV was almost as exhausting as performing on stage. But not even half as much fun.
She missed the old days when the smile on her lips was genuine and not forced from the camera. She missed her brothers; she missed the rivalry and madness, the long days on the road and the long nights on the stage.
She sniffed, forcing the thought back. Those days were gone. The band was no more and she hadn’t seen anyone except Tim since...since Alfred died.
There was a small crowd at the door, mostly families with kids. The studio guards held them back as she walked by, too tired to sign things and play up to the crowd today. There was a young man dressed in black leaning on her car, a posy of violets in his hand.
She reached instinctively for the tiny throwing knife hidden in her belt before she realised recognised the stance. “D? Oh god D! It is you!” She rushed at him, dragging him into a strangling hug.
“Hello Stephanie.” He said quietly, ducking to keep the flowers from being crushed as he returned her hug. “It’s been a while.”
“Damn straight!” She held him out at arm’s length. “Why have I not heard from you? Even Jay writes from time to time but you!”
He scuffed the pavement with his boots, not meeting her eye. “You made your wishes very clear at Alfred’s funeral.”
“Oh D.” She backed off, remembered that night. They were all sad, all hurting. Alfred's heart-attack had come as such a shock that none of them knew how to cope. There'd been crossed words on all sides and Steph had stormed off. It was Damian went after her, who tried to comfort her and she’d lashed out at him for trying. Her words had been chosen to sting and had crushed him utterly. “I never meant to...oh I’m so sorry.”
“It is the past.” He said simply, trying unconvincingly to shrug it off. “It does no-one good to dwell on it.” He looked up with a hopeful smile, holding the flowers out to her. “Still your favourite?”
“You know me! Anything purple.” She laughed as she took the crumpled little bundle. “So what brings you to LA? I’m guessing this isn’t just a social call.”
Tim stepped out of the shadow of the building, showing himself for the first time. “We have a proposition for you.”
“Spooky much!” She grinned, dumping her handbag and flowers on Damian to charge at Tim, dancing towards him in mock sparring. “So pulling out the big guns hey?” she teased, her fists in a face-high guard. “Using D against me?”
“Quite the opposite.” Tim grinned dangerously, light on his feet as he kept her at range. “Damian asked me to come.” He let her get close, drawing her playful punch up to lever her into a hug.
She hugged him back, planting a kiss in his cheek. “I’m half expecting Dick and Jay to appear.
“Not yet.” Damian said gently, “But I’m hopeful.”
She looked at him with a confused smile. “I think we need to get coffee and you two need to tell me what’s going on.”
***
Jay crumbled up his popcorn box and tossed it at the bin, not even bothering to check that it landed as he filed out with the rest of the crowd. It’d been an interesting show. Dick Grayson was still the king of the highwire, no matter what he called himself these days. Jay had nearly laughed when the ring master had announced him as Richard Thomas. Dick turned his back on his old life and could hardly use either Grayson or Wayne but Bruce’s father’s name? Jay could see the irony of that.
But other things had changed – Dick was still a born flyer but the sparkle was missing, the showmanship he was famous for. Now Dick concentrated on the skill of the stunts and left the hype and hyperbole to others. His performance was almost understated, something that left Jay feeling unaccountability sad.
He stalked around the back on the tents, keeping out of sight as the crowds went their way and the circus folk started their nightly pack up.
He watched Dick from a distance as his older brother checked and rechecked his ropes. Several kids helped him, clustering around Dick like ducklings. One in particular caught Jay’s attention; he was twelve maybe but tall for his age; black hair, blue eyes and clearly Dick’s protégé. That and the ring master had referred to him during the show as Robin.
Jay waited in the shadows until night fell, watching his brother and the way he live this new life. Dick was clearly revered by the circus people but there was something else too, a wariness that bordered almost on distrust. Dick held himself aloof from them, never seeming to mix much with the others. The boy Robin however, flittered around from caravan to caravan, laughing and talking to everyone.
We become our fathers. Jay thought as Dick pulled the door of his caravan closed tight against the world.
Unsure what else to do tonight, he headed back to his hotel.
~~~
There was a pub in the main street, the sort of rough place you found in every country town and Jay had no problems finding himself a quiet spot in the corner. He was halfway through his first drink when a fight started brewing.
A small group of young men, all of whom Jay recognised from the circus, came in. They looked peaceful enough, just like any normal group of guys looking for a quiet drink but as soon as they walked through the door, Jay knew there was going to be trouble.
“Ya not carnie folk are ya?” the barman drawled, spitting on the floor. “Cause we don’t serve your kinda filth around here.”
“We’re just looking for beer and a game of pool mate.” The leader answered placating. “We’ve got honest coin to spend; we’re not looking for trouble.”
“Honest.” The man spat again and Jay wrinkled his nose, he would have tufted the guy horizontally out the door for that in his bar. “You lot don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“If you don’t want our money, we’ll go elsewhere.” The leader circus guy answered, backing towards the door. “We don’t want any hassle.” But already the drunken locals were circling. Like it or not, hassle was about to be had.
Jay downed his drink with a sigh and stood up. “I think these lads would like to leave now.” He advanced on the locals, absently picking up a pool cue as he passed. “And I think you’re going to let them.”
He cleared a path to the door with nothing but an evil grin and his own menacing nature, cocking his head to the young men. “Get home boys. No fun to be had here.”
The leader nodded to him gratefully as they all ran for it.
Behind Jay, someone cocked a shotgun.
“Bad idea.” Jay grinned, turning slowly.
As the barman raised the gun, Jay snapped the cue across his knee and threw the jagged edge like a spear. It connected with the back of the barman’s hand, knocking the gun from his hand. It went off as it hit the floor, shattering several bottles behind the bar. It was on after that and Jay roared with fierce pleasure. It’s been too long; no-one dared start anything in Jay’s bar and it felt good to be fighting again; the true, unholy joy of pounding flesh to protect your own skin.
Pretty soon the fight spilt over into the street with Jay fending off attackers on all sides. A lucky shot with a bat caught him up the side of the head and he staggered, his vision swimming. He dropped to one knee for a moment, his hand landing on something soft and warm...a foot...Dick’s foot.
Dick looked down at his brother. “Some things never change.” He mused ruefully, hauling Jay to his feet. “Wherever there’s a fight, you’ll be at the centre of it.” He lashed out with perfect grace, kicking one of the drunken locals away.
“Hey! I didn’t start it.” Jay growled, punching one guy to grab his pool cue as he fell. “It was your mates I was watching out for.”
Dick groaned, palm-striking a yokel’s chin to knock him back. “Please tell me Stephen and the boys didn’t get into another fight.”
“Nope.” Jay grinned as he slammed the cue down, breaking it over the barman’s collarbone. “I got into it for them.”
“I’ll be sure to remind them to offer you free tickets to the show tomorrow night.” Dick muttered dryly.
“Seen it.” Jay answered blithely. “Didn’t think much of the high-wire guy. No style.”
“Why are you here, Jay?” Dick growled, kicking the last guy harder than necessary. “What do you want?”
Jay straightened up, admiring their handiwork in the pile of groaning brawlers. “A drink. And a chat with my big brother.”
Dick snorted and turned on his heels, not waiting to see if Jay followed.
~~~
Back at the circus, Dick dumped a glass of whiskey and an icepack next to Jay’s hand as Jay squashed himself into the small table in Dick’s caravan. “Now what do you want to talk about?”
“You know you never use to be this big an asshole.” Jay observed, sipping his drink and coughing his way through the burn. “And you use to have better taste in booze.”
Dick gave him a long, sardonic stare. The sort Bruce use to use.
“That hasn’t worked on my since I was twelve.” Jay replied, sipping the drink more carefully this time.
“Why are you here?”
“Because shit’s happened and we need to talk about it.” Jay sighed. “They’re rebuilding Gotham, Lucius and a few others.”
Dick leant against the wall of the caravan, his arms crossed. “Gotham’s been a dead city for ten years. Why now?”
“Cause it’s time. Cause they can.” Jay shrugged. “How the fuck should I know?”
“Then why do you care?” Dick asked bitterly.
“Cause its home.” Jay answered simply. “And I wanna go back.”
“Then go.” Dick turned his back, pouring himself a drink.
“They want the Robins to play at the opening concert.”
The glass cracked in Dick’s hand and he dumped it in the sink, his shoulders vibrating with tension. “That time is over.” He growled. “We’re no-longer that band.”
“But we're still that family.” Jay growled back, rising to his feet. “And Damian needs us.”
“I have nothing to give him. He made that clear when he-” Dick bit back on his words, slamming open the door and storming out.
“He what?” Jay yelled, following him. “What did he do exactly?”
Dick took two deep breaths, trying to control his anger. “He made his wishes clear the night of Alfred’s funeral.”
"Yes, Dickie! He did!” Jay grabbed Dick by the arm and swung him around. “He asked his mentor for the freedom to been seen as an equal. Exactly like you did with Bruce.”
Dick tried to shake him off but Jay held on, blocking Dick’s all too predictable punch.
“And what did you do?” Jay demanded. “Instead of respecting and understanding him, you did what Bruce did – you pushed him away. You made him pay for his freedom by taking away the thing he wanted most – you!” Jay wrestled him into an arm-lock, leaning in to hiss in Dick’s ear. “All he ever wanted was your respect! All he wanted was for you to love him on equal terms.” He threw Dick to the ground, his chest heaving with long boiling fury. “Which is more than you deserve.” He turned and stormed away.
~~~
Dick was sitting on the roof of Jay’s rental when Jay checked out the next morning. “I messed up bad didn’t I?”
“Too fucking right.” Jay muttered, stuffing his bag in the trunk.
“I can’t just...I have commitments here.” Dick started.
Jay snorted humourlessly. “Yeah I saw. Got your own little Robin.”
“Y’know that’s actually his name?” Dick cocked his head. “Found him on the road, half starved little thing. Caught him trying to steal my car stereo.”
Jay raised a sardonic eyebrow, still not looking at his brother. “Shoot him now Dickie. He’ll grow up to be me.”
“That’s what I’m afraid.” Dick admitted. He sighed. “I did such a crap job raising Damian.”
Jay slammed the boot, dragging Dick down by his collar. “You were a great brother but a crap dad. You made the same fuck-ass mistakes as Bruce and didn’t learn from a single one of them.” He pushed Dick back against the car and went back to loading his bags. “D’s a smart, cute and sensitive guy. He’s a talented artist and a brilliant musician and he’s lonely as all hell. Tim’s the only one who can even come close to making that kid smile because the one person in his life who mattered walked out on him.”
“Shit Jay. I’m-”
Jay snarled, cutting him off. “Don’t apologise Dickie. Just don’t. Fix it!” He ripped open the driver’s door and climbed in, revving the engine into life. “The day before D’s birthday, we’re walkin together across Gotham Bridge, with or without you. You have a month to decide.” Dirt and gravel sprayed everywhere as Jay peeled away, his tires squealing.
***
Damian woke with a fright as Jay touched him on the shoulder, the hotel bed squeaking in protest.
“Settle D. It’s only me.” Jay pushed a mug of coffee into his hand. “Tim said you’d need this.”
Damian clung to the coffee like a lifeline, breathing the smell in deep.
“Rough night?’ Jay asked, smoothing back D’s wild and ruffled hair.
“I couldn’t sleep. Tossed and turned all night.” Damian admitted. “Jay, what if he doesn’t come?”
“Then he’s a bigger ass that I thought.” Jay saw the anguished look in Damian’s eye. “I did the best I could D. The rest is up to him.”
Damian dragged himself out of bed, hugging his coffee for warmth. “Steph?”
Tim leant in the doorway nursing a mug of his own. “She had to film yesterday but she flew in last night. She said she’d meet us there.” He floated closer, taking Damian’s hand. “Big day.”
“Today we go home.” D squeezed Tim’s hand, letting his brother pull him into a hug. “First time in ten years. I’m so glad you’re both with me.”
“Never alone.” Jay whispered, wrapping his arms around both of them. “Better get ready; we’re meeting Lucius in an hour.”
~~~
Both Steph and Lucius were waiting at the foot of the bridge as they pulled up. Steph hugged and kissed each of them in turn, keeping Damian till last. “Sure you’re ready for this?” She asked earnestly, looking him in the eye.
“A little more sure now you’re here.” D answered with a shy smile. He ducked his head and turned to the elderly businessman. “Thank you so much for this, Lucius.”
“It’s what your father would have wanted. I know he’d be proud of you, of all of you.” Lucius assured, clasping Damian’s hand. “I’ll leave you all to it. Come to my office at Wayne Tower when you’re ready. I have something for you.” He nodded to them and left them be.
Damian looked over his shoulder, trembling a little as he searched the horizon.
But there was no sign of Dick.
Tim took his shaking hand. “We’ll give him ten more minutes.”
Damian closed his eyes, leaning in to Tim as he whispered something under his breath.
Steph smiled and caught the tune, singing the melody as Tim and Jay joined in. “Lost and scattered through the country I roam, but dark city calls me back...”
“And I’ll never be alone.” Dick called, stepping out of the shadow.
“You’re late Grayson.” Jay muttered as their oldest brother walked towards me. “Still trying to make a dramatic entrance?”
A sob caught in Damian’s throat as Dick reached out a hand to him.
“D...I...” Dick started but Damian fell to his knees.
“You are my brother, my father; you are that which I hold dearest in this world.” The words tumbled out, tears in Damian’s eyes as his voice cracked. “All the things said that cannot be unsaid, all the hurts we cast upon each other will never diminish my desire, my need to have your respect.” He bowed his head. “And your love.”
Dick dropped down, dragging Damian into his arms. “I’m so sorry D.” He whispered fiercely, petting Damian’s hair as tears poured down his face. “I failed you so completely. I can’t ask for your forgiveness but I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise I’ll never leave you again. Not so long as you want me in your life.” They clung to each other in frantic sobs, years of hurt washed away in a sea of tears.
Tim crouched down to press a soft kiss to the top of Dick’s head. “Welcome back.” He squeezed Damian’s shoulder. “Are you ready for this?”
Damian looked up into Dick’s startling blue eyes, a soft smile gracing his lips as Tim helped him to his feet. “I am now.” He reached out and took Dick and Tim’s hands. “It’s time to go home.”
Dick reached out to Jay and Jay reached out to Steph.
Hand in hand they walked across the bridge and into Gotham.
Never alone.
Author: Munnin with lots of help and support from
faile_neume Rating: NC-17
Characters: Dick, Tim, Jay, Steph, Damian.
Verse: Band!AU Future Fic
Warnings: mentions of character death
Disclaimer: No ownership, no profit and no offence meant. Everyone is of the age of consent in their country and period of history.
Author’s notes: 100% organic. May contain minor flaws and imperfections that beta-treated slash wouldn’t. Big thanks to Just for looking it over for me.
Bingo card: AU. Future: Author's Choice. Masterlist here.
Summary: Ten years after the death of their father and mentor, can Damian bring the family back together of the sake of the city Bruce loved?
Author’s notes: Justine and I started bouncing this idea around a long time ago but it never felt like the right time to share it. Maybe now is. This isn’t the end for the Band!AU and I have no plans on giving up writing it just yet but maybe it’s time to tell this part of their story.
“We’re closed!” Jay shouted as the front door jangled. He was shifting a crate of pint glasses as the figure crossed the floor. Almost automatically Jay sized the young man up – tall but lean with long black hair that hid his face. He felt his knuckles itch with unknown threat. “Didn’t you hear me? Fuck off. We’re closed.”
“Even to family.” The young man flicked his hair back, smiling almost shyly.
“Oh D!” Jay grabbed the young man and dragged him into a hug. “Nearly didn’t recognise you, kid!”
“Forgive me. I should have visited sooner.” D whispered, leaning gratefully into the embrace.
“Damn straight!” Jay let him go. “But the amount of touring you’ve been doing, it’s no shock you haven’t got time for family.” He shuffled around behind the bar. “What are you drinking?”
“Jason, you are aware I’m not 21 for another month?” Damian asked with a raised eyebrow.
Jason just glared at him. “D. I was slipping you drinks when you were sixteen. What makes you think I’d care now?”
Damian grinned. “The inescapable fact that it is now your liquor licence on the line?”
“Good point. Zesti then?”
Damian took a deep draft of the soda. “I didn’t know anyone outside Gotham actually drank this?”
Jay shot him a smile and poured himself a drink. “They don’t. I stock it for Tim when he visits. Cheers.” They tapped glasses. “Speaking of which, to what do I own this massively overdue visit?”
“Are the bonds so strained that I need a reason to visit my brother?” Damian asked with teasing incredulity
“Yes.” Jason said sharply. “D, I haven’t had so much as a postcard from your sorry ass since Alfred’s funeral. You turn up in my bar randomly after three years, so yes, I’m asking why.”
Damian scuffed his boots, a nervous gesture from better times. “Lucius Fox contacted me. There’s a benefit concert for the rebuilding of Gotham City. He wants us to play.”
“Have you asked the others yet?” Jay asked quietly as he polished off his glass and poured another drink, somewhat stronger than the first.
Damian pushed the overly long hair back from his face, looking more like Dick than Bruce. “No...I was hoping you’d help me convince them.” He fiddled with the bottle in his hand, not meeting Jay’s eye. “I haven’t spoken to Dick since...”
“Since you grew up and decided you didn’t need him?’ Jay asked blatantly. “You really do take after him you know.”
“I just needed to be my own man.” D sighed. “I never meant for it to become so...hurtful.”
Jay wandered around the bar, dropping a hand to the youth’s shoulder. “He did the same to Bruce years and years ago. Broke each other’s hearts.” He pulled Damian into a hug. “He loves you, he’ll understand.”
“Really?”
“Eventually.” Jay cautioned.
Damian dipped his head shamefully. “I'm not even certain how to get in touch with him. He went off the grid after we...”
“Don’t worry, I’ll find him.” Jay touched D’s chin, seeing the doubt in the young man’s eyes. “Hey I found you during Exodus, didn’t I? Let me handle it.” He patted Damian’s shoulder. “So, heard much from the other two?”
“Tim helped me with my last record.” Damian smiled. There was a note of envy and affection in his voice. Tim and Damian had always shared a strange, unspoke bond and Jay often wondered if D’s solo career would have done as well without Tim’s contacts in the industry. “He runs that studio so efficiently. Alfred would be proud.” The Pennyworth Recording Studio was now almost as famous as Abbey Road.
“And the Girl Wonder?” Jay asked with an indulgently smile.
Damian blushed a little. “Is it shameful to admit I try to watch her show as often as I can?”
“Not at all.” Jay ruffled his hair. “She makes a great kid’s TV presenter. My daughters love her.”
Damian’s eyebrows shot up. “You have children?”
“Got a problem with that?” Jay challenged dangerously.
“Not at all!” Damian defended. “I just can’t imagine you as a father.”
Jason shrugged. “When I brought the bar, I kept on most of the bar staff, including Nicki. Her good-for-nothing ex left her with two black eyes and twin girls before I kicked his ass out. She stayed here for a while to get herself back together and we kinda hit it off. She manages the bar most nights while I work the door. I love her girls as my own.”
“I’m glad you for.” Damian said, genuinely if a little sadly. “No-one deserves happiness more.” He gave a shy smile. “At least you have an excuse to watch Steph’s show. I however, am just another sad fanboy lusting after someone I could never have.”
Jay patted him on the shoulder. “She loves you.”
“As a brother.” Damian said gravely, “And nothing more.”
“Her heart always belonged to Cass. You know that.”
Damian shrugged, still in part that teenage boy broken by his first crush.
Jay saw the unresolved pain in Damian’s eyes and changed the subject. “Do you want to do this concert?”
“Yes.” He said honestly. “It’s something I want...I need to do. Gotham was Bruce’s city and I need to be involved in its resurrection.” He looked up into Jay’s eyes. “But I’m afraid to do it alone.”
Jay snorted, remembering the lyrics of their songs. “Lost and scattered through the country I roam, but dark city calls me back...”
“And I’ll never be alone.” Damian finished with a teary smile.
Jay brushed the back of his hand over D's cheek. “Let me set up the spare room for the night. We’ll hop a plane in the morning and go see Tim.”
***
Damian pointed down an alleyway as Jay pulled the hire car over. “There’s a back door. It’ll be safer that way.” D said quietly as they climbed out.
“Are we expecting trouble?’ Jay asked quizzically, not sure why D was being so cautious.
“Some very famous artists record here. Sometimes the front door is not the best way in.” He slipped a key off his chain and fitted it to the lock, confidently guiding them though the maze of dimly lit corridors.
“Spend a bit of time here I take it?” Jay joked but saw the look on D’s face.
“I don’t really have what one might call a permanent address.” Damian said sadly. “Tim lets me stay whenever I’m in town.”
Jay felt a piece of the puzzle fall into place. His little brother was famous, handsome and lonely as all hell. When they’d been travelling as the Robins, home was wherever they were together but on his own, Damian was a lost child without roots.
“D...you know if ever you’re in Chicago, you’re welcome to stay with me.”
Damian glanced over his shoulder. “I couldn’t...I wouldn’t want to impose. You have a family after all.”
Jay pushed D against the wall with a gentle shove. “Yes and my daughters would love to meet their Uncle Damian. For fuck’s sake D! You are my brother, you’re always welcome in my home.” He cupped D’s cheek. “Never alone remember?”
D dropped his eyes, touching the hand that clutched his cheek gently. “Thank you Jason.”
“No.” Jay said strongly, “Don’t thank me, just don’t lock me out. I wanna help ok?”
Damian took Jay’s hand and brought it softly to his lips as Jay brushed back his hair.
“It’s going to be ok kid.” Jay promised. “Let’s go find Timmy shall we?”
Damian led them to the foyer, stopping for a moment in front of a large portrait of the studio’s namesake. “I miss him so.” D admitted, touching the edge of the frame with reverence.
“We all do.” Tim called quietly from the doorway, watching them with dark eyes. “He was as much a father to us as Bruce. More so sometimes I think.”
“Tim.” The dip of Damian’s lashes was almost as reverential.
“Welcome home Damian.” Tim turned a soft smile on Jay. “Good to see you again Jason. Look, I’ve got to finish up a couple of things here. Why don’t you guys let yourselves into the flat and I’ll join you in a few minutes.”
Tim’s tone was cool and professional and Jay would have called him on it except for the warm undercurrent he felt run between his two younger brothers. Jay clapped Damian on the shoulder. “Lead the way little D.”
He followed Damian to a small apartment at the back of the studio, overlooking a neat courtyard garden. “Timmy actually lives here.” Jay marvelled, “It’s very...him.” The rooms were Spartan, almost monastic in its orderliness.
“You’ve never been here?” D asked, stashing his bag in one of the rooms.
“No, Tim always visits me in Chicago. I’ve never thought to come bug him at home.”
“He’s grown very...private.” Damian said carefully, rattling around the compact kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. “But this life seems to suit him well and he’s very good at what he does.”
“No doubt.” Jay replied, worried by the neatness of everything. “But is he happy?”
“Most days.” Tim commented, pulling the door closed behind himself and locking the world beyond out. “Especially when I have my family here.” He pulled Jay into a hug. “Sorry about the brusque greeting. The band I was working with had journalists with them and I’ve learnt not to trust the media.”
“I can understand that.” Jay replied, returning the hug warmly. The band’s break up had been messy and public. The media speculation had made a bad situation even more painful. “Nice place you’ve got here.”
“Thank you.” Tim turned to Damian, touching the youth’s cheek fondly, drawing him in for a kiss. “Welcome home.”
Though gentle and warm, the kiss was enough to make Damian’s knees weak and he clung to Tim’s shoulders like a man drowning.
Jay watched, feeling more pieces fall in to place. Tim was D’s lifeline, his one connection to family and home and Tim had done what Steph never could – he showed D he was loved.
Damian let his head fall to Tim’s shoulder, relaxing into the embrace. “I missed you.”
“Shh, you’re here now. How about I fix us up some dinner? You’re too pale.” He stroked D’s face, “Fetch me some mint and oregano from the garden?”
“Gladly.” Damian darted in for another quick kiss, warm with colour for the first time since he’d appeared in Chicago.
“You disapprove?” Tim asked Jay as Damian slipped out into the garden.
“Hell no.” Jay muttered, taking a seat as the table as Tim started chopping onion. “Just realised how starved for love the poor kid is. I’m glad one of us is looking after him.” There was an undertone to his words, an unspoken accusation.
“Dick isn’t entirely to blame.” Tim reasoned, “They're too much alike sometimes.”
“Is that why you’re sleeping with him?” Jay teased jokingly.
Tim whipped around, his eyes so dark and dangerous Jay could almost hear the ice beneath him cracking.
“Hey I’m not judging.” Jay held his hands up defectively. “I’m glad, for both of you.”
Tim lowered the knife he was wielding. “I love Damian for who he is, not who he resembles.”
“Understood.” Jay backed off. “Hey I’ve got something for you.” He pulled a folded up page from his bag, handing it to Tim. It was a painting depicting five figures holding instrument shaped blobs in the wild and erratic style of two four year olds. “I’m informed the one in black is you.”
Tim ran his fingers over the painted surface, a soft smile spreading over his face. “I shall treasure it.”
“Your daughters are artists.” Damian observed as he carried in a handful of herbs.
“Have you not met our little Picassos?” Tim asked, rinsing the herbs off in the sink.
Jay shook his head, “Nic’s taken the girls to her mother’s for the holidays.” He held out a hand to force the hovering D to sit down. The kitchen was clearly not big enough for him to help without getting underfoot.
“I would like very much to meet them though.” Damian said dutifully with a small smile.
“So,” Tim called, closing the oven door. “While that’s baking, how about you tell me the reason behind this pleasant if unexpected visit?”
~~~
Tim listened as Damian explained the proposal Lucius brought to him. “The concert would mark the beginning of the resettlement of Gotham. Lucius wants us there because he feels the Robins would act as a beacon to call the people of Gotham home.”
Tim nodded, taking his words in. “What do you want Damian?”
The young man sighed, staring down at his hands. “I want...I want to go home.” He whispered, his words tinged with sadness. “It’s been nearly ten years but part of me will always crave that sense of belonging...” He trailed off, dropping his eyes, “It seems foolish-”
“Not at all.” Tim assured, taking D’s hand. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about what it would be like to go back.”
Jay chuckled darkly. “I already know where I’d set up my bar.”
“There’s something else.” D started, taking a deep breath. “Lucius mentioned an inheritance.”
“I know.” Tim said gently, squeezing D’s hand. “Tam Fox contacted me.”
“You knew?’ D pulled back, a little startled. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“I needed to know what you wanted first.” Tim assured, cupping D’s cheek. “I didn’t want to push you into a decision you weren’t ready to make.”
Jay looked from one to the other. “Planning to fill me in anytime soon?”
Tim sighed. “About of a third of all real estate in Gotham belongs to the Wayne Corporation or its subsidiaries along with considerable business assets. Bruce’s will specified that Lucius was to hold everything in trust to rebuild the city until the youngest of the beneficiaries came of age. In a month’s time D will turn twenty one and the four of us will affectively inherit a city.”
Jay sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Shit.” The enormity of it rolled over him. “Shit!”
“You see my dilemma.” Damian said softly. “Bruce may have wanted us to leave the city to its fate ten years again but it seems now that we have a chance to rebuild it.” He squeezed Tim’s hand. “Is it vanity to want to do so in his honour?”
“Not at all.” Tim whispered, a sad smile on his lips. “It seems appropriate.”
Jay looked his youngest brother in the eye. “What do you want D? How do you want to play this?”
“I want...” D breathed out, nervously. “I want to play the concert. I want us to be a family again, even just for one night. I want to rebuild the city my father loved and served. I want to know what it is to be home. And I want my brothers and sister with me when I do. I know it too much ask that any of you would stay but...”
“I’ll be at your side.” Tim whispered, pulling D into a soft kiss.
Jay shook his head. “Nic’s always wanted to live on the east coast. As long as there’s a good school for the girls and a bar with my name on it down by the docks, sign me up.”
Damian pulled him into a hug. “Thank you Jay.”
Jay pulled the young man close. “Don’t thank me kid. Just tell me what you need me to do.”
“Well the first thing we need to do is eat.” Tim announced, getting up the pull the lasagne from the oven. “Then we work out how to track down our wayward Robins.”
~~~
Tim emerged from the bedroom as Jay investigated the fridge. “Back left if you’re looking for the beers.” Tim called, flopping down on the couch. “Grab me one while you’re at it.”
“Cheers. Damian asleep already?” Jay asked, passing Tim a bottle and joining him on the couch.
“Twenty years old and he still sleeps more than any human being I’ve ever known.” Tim conceded with a sigh.
“So? You and lil’D hey?”
Tim growled. “Don’t be an ass about this Jay.” His tone was sharp and warning.
“I’m not. I just want to know how it happened. I mean D’s always been the kid you know?”
“That’s half the problem.” Tim took a long draft of his beer, pressing the cool glass to his forehead as he let his head fall back. “That’s the way Dick saw him, that’s the way Steph saw him. In their eyes he would always be the baby of the family, the one who needed protecting.”
Jay sniggered into his beer. “Not likely. Kid could kick my ass when he was eleven. Not that I would have admitted it then but..."
“Between his mother and grandfather he never got to be a child when he was that young and with us well...”
“We were a fucked up family to grow in.” Jay agreed.
“Still are!” Tim berated. “But it’s not what you think. I may love him and welcome him to my bed but I have never taken him. To the best of knowledge, Damian is still a virgin.”
Jay raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “You’re kidding right? I might have a blind spot about the baby brother thing but the kid grew up hot! You telling me you haven’t noticed?”
“I’m well aware of how attractive D is but that’s not what he needs from me. He needs someone to see him for who he is, a man in his own right. Part of that is not pushing him down the same path we took. If one day he should ask that me then...”
Jay eyed him darkly. “So you’re a monk now?”
“This coming from the man who shared a bed with Steph for years and never got any.” Tim bit back with a smirk.
Jay put the bottle down with deliberate care. “And how did you come to that conclusion boy detective?” There was a teasing menace to his tone.
“Elementary my dear Jason.” Tim grinned, leaning in to call Jay’s bluff. “You forget it was me you use to nail against the wall when the mood took you. You don’t think I know how frustrated you got?”
Jay pulled the beer out of Tim’s hand, dragging his fingers over the soft skin of Tim’s wrist. “So just how frustrated are you getting having the lil’D in your bed?”
Tim eyed him warily, trying to suppress the shiver that travelled through him. “You’re a happily married man Jay.”
“Yes I am.” Jay wrapped his arm around Tim’s waist, pulling the younger man into his lap. “Because I have a wonderful woman who knows and accepts me. Nicki knows about us and about how this family works. She’s cool with it.” He ran his hands down Tim’s flanks, pulling him up to straddle Jay’s legs. “It’s up to you if you’re cool with it.”
Tim closed his eyes as Jay’s hands slid under his shirt. “I wondered what she meant when she winked at me last time I visited. Oh...”
Jason smiled, dragging his nails over Tim’s skin just hard enough to leave red lines. “So Timmy? Just how frustrated are you?” He plucked at the fly of Tim’s tight black jeans, teasing his fingers though the mat of black curls. “I’m gunna guess a lot.”
Tim let his head fall back, trusting his weight to Jay as the older man stoked him, slow and teasing. “I...oh...” he sighed, arching up into his brother’s touch.
Jay buried his hand in Tim’s hair. “Come here babybird. Lemme look after you hey?” Tim’s lips tasted as sweet as he remembered but harder and hungrier.
Tim pushed Jay’s shirt open, his hands tight around his brother’s collarbone as he pushed up, letting Jay slide down his pants. “Jay I...?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t want this.” Jay growled, dragging the young man in to chase sharp kisses over his throat. “Don’t tell me you don’t need it.”
“I can’t.” Tim flicked him a hot smile, cocking his head to give Jay better access to his neck. “But it’s been a while.” He jacked back, his spine arching sharply as Jay’s stroking hand dipped lower. “Jay...” he whimpered as Jay’s calloused finger grazed over his hole.
“I’ve got you, babybird. Just let me look after you.”
~~~
Damian rolled over as Tim crawled in beside him. The older Robin’s skin was warm and slightly damp from the shower.
“Shh,” Tim whispered, stroking Damian’s hair and pressing a kiss to his younger brother’s forehead. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Damian shrugged, gratefully snuggling onto Tim’s arms. There was a dark mark on Tim’s throat and he reached out to touch it, brushing his fingers over the blooming bruise. “Jay?”
Tim nodded, holding himself still under his little brother’s touch.
“I’m sorry I can’t...be that for you.” Damian whispered mournfully. “I know it can’t be easy-”
Tim pressed a finger to D’s lips. “Hush.” He kissed his younger brother softly, cupping his cheek. “I just want you to be happy. I don’t expect you to want or need to follow the same path as the rest of us.”
“I just...” Damian shifted restlessly. “I wish I could repay your love.”
“You’re family Damian. There is nothing you need to repay.” Tim pulled him close, stroking the young man’s back. “I’ve cleared my schedule for the rest of the week. We’ll leave for LA in the morning to see Steph.”
“What about Dick?” The young man asked, almost fearfully.
“Leave that to Jay.” Tim assured, “He’ll find Dick. He’s always been a better tracker than me.” He kissed the top of D’s head. “He left half hour ago.”
“I’m afraid, Tim.” The young man whispered, “We parted on such bad terms.”
Tim hummed gently, “He loves you D. Let Jay talk to him.”
“And Steph?”
Tim sighed quietly, all too aware of the breach between them. “Let’s deal with that tomorrow shall we?”
***
Steph shook her hair out as she left the studio, pushing it back from her face with a sigh. Filming kids TV was almost as exhausting as performing on stage. But not even half as much fun.
She missed the old days when the smile on her lips was genuine and not forced from the camera. She missed her brothers; she missed the rivalry and madness, the long days on the road and the long nights on the stage.
She sniffed, forcing the thought back. Those days were gone. The band was no more and she hadn’t seen anyone except Tim since...since Alfred died.
There was a small crowd at the door, mostly families with kids. The studio guards held them back as she walked by, too tired to sign things and play up to the crowd today. There was a young man dressed in black leaning on her car, a posy of violets in his hand.
She reached instinctively for the tiny throwing knife hidden in her belt before she realised recognised the stance. “D? Oh god D! It is you!” She rushed at him, dragging him into a strangling hug.
“Hello Stephanie.” He said quietly, ducking to keep the flowers from being crushed as he returned her hug. “It’s been a while.”
“Damn straight!” She held him out at arm’s length. “Why have I not heard from you? Even Jay writes from time to time but you!”
He scuffed the pavement with his boots, not meeting her eye. “You made your wishes very clear at Alfred’s funeral.”
“Oh D.” She backed off, remembered that night. They were all sad, all hurting. Alfred's heart-attack had come as such a shock that none of them knew how to cope. There'd been crossed words on all sides and Steph had stormed off. It was Damian went after her, who tried to comfort her and she’d lashed out at him for trying. Her words had been chosen to sting and had crushed him utterly. “I never meant to...oh I’m so sorry.”
“It is the past.” He said simply, trying unconvincingly to shrug it off. “It does no-one good to dwell on it.” He looked up with a hopeful smile, holding the flowers out to her. “Still your favourite?”
“You know me! Anything purple.” She laughed as she took the crumpled little bundle. “So what brings you to LA? I’m guessing this isn’t just a social call.”
Tim stepped out of the shadow of the building, showing himself for the first time. “We have a proposition for you.”
“Spooky much!” She grinned, dumping her handbag and flowers on Damian to charge at Tim, dancing towards him in mock sparring. “So pulling out the big guns hey?” she teased, her fists in a face-high guard. “Using D against me?”
“Quite the opposite.” Tim grinned dangerously, light on his feet as he kept her at range. “Damian asked me to come.” He let her get close, drawing her playful punch up to lever her into a hug.
She hugged him back, planting a kiss in his cheek. “I’m half expecting Dick and Jay to appear.
“Not yet.” Damian said gently, “But I’m hopeful.”
She looked at him with a confused smile. “I think we need to get coffee and you two need to tell me what’s going on.”
***
Jay crumbled up his popcorn box and tossed it at the bin, not even bothering to check that it landed as he filed out with the rest of the crowd. It’d been an interesting show. Dick Grayson was still the king of the highwire, no matter what he called himself these days. Jay had nearly laughed when the ring master had announced him as Richard Thomas. Dick turned his back on his old life and could hardly use either Grayson or Wayne but Bruce’s father’s name? Jay could see the irony of that.
But other things had changed – Dick was still a born flyer but the sparkle was missing, the showmanship he was famous for. Now Dick concentrated on the skill of the stunts and left the hype and hyperbole to others. His performance was almost understated, something that left Jay feeling unaccountability sad.
He stalked around the back on the tents, keeping out of sight as the crowds went their way and the circus folk started their nightly pack up.
He watched Dick from a distance as his older brother checked and rechecked his ropes. Several kids helped him, clustering around Dick like ducklings. One in particular caught Jay’s attention; he was twelve maybe but tall for his age; black hair, blue eyes and clearly Dick’s protégé. That and the ring master had referred to him during the show as Robin.
Jay waited in the shadows until night fell, watching his brother and the way he live this new life. Dick was clearly revered by the circus people but there was something else too, a wariness that bordered almost on distrust. Dick held himself aloof from them, never seeming to mix much with the others. The boy Robin however, flittered around from caravan to caravan, laughing and talking to everyone.
We become our fathers. Jay thought as Dick pulled the door of his caravan closed tight against the world.
Unsure what else to do tonight, he headed back to his hotel.
~~~
There was a pub in the main street, the sort of rough place you found in every country town and Jay had no problems finding himself a quiet spot in the corner. He was halfway through his first drink when a fight started brewing.
A small group of young men, all of whom Jay recognised from the circus, came in. They looked peaceful enough, just like any normal group of guys looking for a quiet drink but as soon as they walked through the door, Jay knew there was going to be trouble.
“Ya not carnie folk are ya?” the barman drawled, spitting on the floor. “Cause we don’t serve your kinda filth around here.”
“We’re just looking for beer and a game of pool mate.” The leader answered placating. “We’ve got honest coin to spend; we’re not looking for trouble.”
“Honest.” The man spat again and Jay wrinkled his nose, he would have tufted the guy horizontally out the door for that in his bar. “You lot don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“If you don’t want our money, we’ll go elsewhere.” The leader circus guy answered, backing towards the door. “We don’t want any hassle.” But already the drunken locals were circling. Like it or not, hassle was about to be had.
Jay downed his drink with a sigh and stood up. “I think these lads would like to leave now.” He advanced on the locals, absently picking up a pool cue as he passed. “And I think you’re going to let them.”
He cleared a path to the door with nothing but an evil grin and his own menacing nature, cocking his head to the young men. “Get home boys. No fun to be had here.”
The leader nodded to him gratefully as they all ran for it.
Behind Jay, someone cocked a shotgun.
“Bad idea.” Jay grinned, turning slowly.
As the barman raised the gun, Jay snapped the cue across his knee and threw the jagged edge like a spear. It connected with the back of the barman’s hand, knocking the gun from his hand. It went off as it hit the floor, shattering several bottles behind the bar. It was on after that and Jay roared with fierce pleasure. It’s been too long; no-one dared start anything in Jay’s bar and it felt good to be fighting again; the true, unholy joy of pounding flesh to protect your own skin.
Pretty soon the fight spilt over into the street with Jay fending off attackers on all sides. A lucky shot with a bat caught him up the side of the head and he staggered, his vision swimming. He dropped to one knee for a moment, his hand landing on something soft and warm...a foot...Dick’s foot.
Dick looked down at his brother. “Some things never change.” He mused ruefully, hauling Jay to his feet. “Wherever there’s a fight, you’ll be at the centre of it.” He lashed out with perfect grace, kicking one of the drunken locals away.
“Hey! I didn’t start it.” Jay growled, punching one guy to grab his pool cue as he fell. “It was your mates I was watching out for.”
Dick groaned, palm-striking a yokel’s chin to knock him back. “Please tell me Stephen and the boys didn’t get into another fight.”
“Nope.” Jay grinned as he slammed the cue down, breaking it over the barman’s collarbone. “I got into it for them.”
“I’ll be sure to remind them to offer you free tickets to the show tomorrow night.” Dick muttered dryly.
“Seen it.” Jay answered blithely. “Didn’t think much of the high-wire guy. No style.”
“Why are you here, Jay?” Dick growled, kicking the last guy harder than necessary. “What do you want?”
Jay straightened up, admiring their handiwork in the pile of groaning brawlers. “A drink. And a chat with my big brother.”
Dick snorted and turned on his heels, not waiting to see if Jay followed.
~~~
Back at the circus, Dick dumped a glass of whiskey and an icepack next to Jay’s hand as Jay squashed himself into the small table in Dick’s caravan. “Now what do you want to talk about?”
“You know you never use to be this big an asshole.” Jay observed, sipping his drink and coughing his way through the burn. “And you use to have better taste in booze.”
Dick gave him a long, sardonic stare. The sort Bruce use to use.
“That hasn’t worked on my since I was twelve.” Jay replied, sipping the drink more carefully this time.
“Why are you here?”
“Because shit’s happened and we need to talk about it.” Jay sighed. “They’re rebuilding Gotham, Lucius and a few others.”
Dick leant against the wall of the caravan, his arms crossed. “Gotham’s been a dead city for ten years. Why now?”
“Cause it’s time. Cause they can.” Jay shrugged. “How the fuck should I know?”
“Then why do you care?” Dick asked bitterly.
“Cause its home.” Jay answered simply. “And I wanna go back.”
“Then go.” Dick turned his back, pouring himself a drink.
“They want the Robins to play at the opening concert.”
The glass cracked in Dick’s hand and he dumped it in the sink, his shoulders vibrating with tension. “That time is over.” He growled. “We’re no-longer that band.”
“But we're still that family.” Jay growled back, rising to his feet. “And Damian needs us.”
“I have nothing to give him. He made that clear when he-” Dick bit back on his words, slamming open the door and storming out.
“He what?” Jay yelled, following him. “What did he do exactly?”
Dick took two deep breaths, trying to control his anger. “He made his wishes clear the night of Alfred’s funeral.”
"Yes, Dickie! He did!” Jay grabbed Dick by the arm and swung him around. “He asked his mentor for the freedom to been seen as an equal. Exactly like you did with Bruce.”
Dick tried to shake him off but Jay held on, blocking Dick’s all too predictable punch.
“And what did you do?” Jay demanded. “Instead of respecting and understanding him, you did what Bruce did – you pushed him away. You made him pay for his freedom by taking away the thing he wanted most – you!” Jay wrestled him into an arm-lock, leaning in to hiss in Dick’s ear. “All he ever wanted was your respect! All he wanted was for you to love him on equal terms.” He threw Dick to the ground, his chest heaving with long boiling fury. “Which is more than you deserve.” He turned and stormed away.
~~~
Dick was sitting on the roof of Jay’s rental when Jay checked out the next morning. “I messed up bad didn’t I?”
“Too fucking right.” Jay muttered, stuffing his bag in the trunk.
“I can’t just...I have commitments here.” Dick started.
Jay snorted humourlessly. “Yeah I saw. Got your own little Robin.”
“Y’know that’s actually his name?” Dick cocked his head. “Found him on the road, half starved little thing. Caught him trying to steal my car stereo.”
Jay raised a sardonic eyebrow, still not looking at his brother. “Shoot him now Dickie. He’ll grow up to be me.”
“That’s what I’m afraid.” Dick admitted. He sighed. “I did such a crap job raising Damian.”
Jay slammed the boot, dragging Dick down by his collar. “You were a great brother but a crap dad. You made the same fuck-ass mistakes as Bruce and didn’t learn from a single one of them.” He pushed Dick back against the car and went back to loading his bags. “D’s a smart, cute and sensitive guy. He’s a talented artist and a brilliant musician and he’s lonely as all hell. Tim’s the only one who can even come close to making that kid smile because the one person in his life who mattered walked out on him.”
“Shit Jay. I’m-”
Jay snarled, cutting him off. “Don’t apologise Dickie. Just don’t. Fix it!” He ripped open the driver’s door and climbed in, revving the engine into life. “The day before D’s birthday, we’re walkin together across Gotham Bridge, with or without you. You have a month to decide.” Dirt and gravel sprayed everywhere as Jay peeled away, his tires squealing.
***
Damian woke with a fright as Jay touched him on the shoulder, the hotel bed squeaking in protest.
“Settle D. It’s only me.” Jay pushed a mug of coffee into his hand. “Tim said you’d need this.”
Damian clung to the coffee like a lifeline, breathing the smell in deep.
“Rough night?’ Jay asked, smoothing back D’s wild and ruffled hair.
“I couldn’t sleep. Tossed and turned all night.” Damian admitted. “Jay, what if he doesn’t come?”
“Then he’s a bigger ass that I thought.” Jay saw the anguished look in Damian’s eye. “I did the best I could D. The rest is up to him.”
Damian dragged himself out of bed, hugging his coffee for warmth. “Steph?”
Tim leant in the doorway nursing a mug of his own. “She had to film yesterday but she flew in last night. She said she’d meet us there.” He floated closer, taking Damian’s hand. “Big day.”
“Today we go home.” D squeezed Tim’s hand, letting his brother pull him into a hug. “First time in ten years. I’m so glad you’re both with me.”
“Never alone.” Jay whispered, wrapping his arms around both of them. “Better get ready; we’re meeting Lucius in an hour.”
~~~
Both Steph and Lucius were waiting at the foot of the bridge as they pulled up. Steph hugged and kissed each of them in turn, keeping Damian till last. “Sure you’re ready for this?” She asked earnestly, looking him in the eye.
“A little more sure now you’re here.” D answered with a shy smile. He ducked his head and turned to the elderly businessman. “Thank you so much for this, Lucius.”
“It’s what your father would have wanted. I know he’d be proud of you, of all of you.” Lucius assured, clasping Damian’s hand. “I’ll leave you all to it. Come to my office at Wayne Tower when you’re ready. I have something for you.” He nodded to them and left them be.
Damian looked over his shoulder, trembling a little as he searched the horizon.
But there was no sign of Dick.
Tim took his shaking hand. “We’ll give him ten more minutes.”
Damian closed his eyes, leaning in to Tim as he whispered something under his breath.
Steph smiled and caught the tune, singing the melody as Tim and Jay joined in. “Lost and scattered through the country I roam, but dark city calls me back...”
“And I’ll never be alone.” Dick called, stepping out of the shadow.
“You’re late Grayson.” Jay muttered as their oldest brother walked towards me. “Still trying to make a dramatic entrance?”
A sob caught in Damian’s throat as Dick reached out a hand to him.
“D...I...” Dick started but Damian fell to his knees.
“You are my brother, my father; you are that which I hold dearest in this world.” The words tumbled out, tears in Damian’s eyes as his voice cracked. “All the things said that cannot be unsaid, all the hurts we cast upon each other will never diminish my desire, my need to have your respect.” He bowed his head. “And your love.”
Dick dropped down, dragging Damian into his arms. “I’m so sorry D.” He whispered fiercely, petting Damian’s hair as tears poured down his face. “I failed you so completely. I can’t ask for your forgiveness but I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise I’ll never leave you again. Not so long as you want me in your life.” They clung to each other in frantic sobs, years of hurt washed away in a sea of tears.
Tim crouched down to press a soft kiss to the top of Dick’s head. “Welcome back.” He squeezed Damian’s shoulder. “Are you ready for this?”
Damian looked up into Dick’s startling blue eyes, a soft smile gracing his lips as Tim helped him to his feet. “I am now.” He reached out and took Dick and Tim’s hands. “It’s time to go home.”
Dick reached out to Jay and Jay reached out to Steph.
Hand in hand they walked across the bridge and into Gotham.
Never alone.
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Date: 2010-07-11 03:14 am (UTC)thanks, I'm glad I could make it work for you.