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Title: TimTam Slam!
Author: Munnin
Rating: PG-13 mostly for Jay's swearing.
Characters: Dick, Tim, Jay, Steph, Damian, Alfred.
Verse: Band!AU
Disclaimer: No ownership, no profit and no offence meant. Everyone is of the age of consent in their country and period of history.
Author’s notes: 100% organic. May contain minor flaws and imperfections that beta-treated slash wouldn’t.
Bingo card: H/C. Burns.
Masterlist here.

Summary: During the Australian Tour, the band spends a little too much time on the beach and have to find ways to cool off. Do try this at home if you can get hold of some TimTams, it a lot of fun! Happy ‘I’m now old enough to drink’ party [livejournal.com profile] shiny_glor_chan.



Steph laid her wet towel out on the tile floor and flopped onto it gracelessly. “Who turned up the sun in this wrenched country!” She moaned. Her back was luminous red and radiated heat.

“I warned you.” Tim called, padding over with a tube of aloe vera gel in hand. “Australians recommend reapplying sunscreen every 2 hours.”

“Or every ten minutes in Tim’s case.” Jason growled, his face radiant with sunburn. “Fucking vampire.” He flopped down, resting his head on the edge of Steph’s towel.

“And might I point out I am the only one not burnt to a crisp.” Tim chided. “You think the fact that all the locals all wear long sleeve swimming-shirts might have been a clue.”

“Rashies.” Damian grumbled, sprawling out next to Tim. “They’re called rashies.” His face and shoulders were starting to redden despite his dark colouring. “They are ugly and tasteless and I want one.”

“We’ll buy you one tomorrow.” Tim promised, smoothing the gel over his little brother’s shoulders. “I’m sure they come in black too.” Most of the rashies they’d seen worn on the beach were bright and fluorescent, easy to see in the water but too loud for D’s taste.

“Gimme.” Steph flailed at the tube, tossing it at Jay. “Back. Now.”

“Bossy much?” Jay grumbled, smearing the green goo over her skin.

“Hurts.” She muttered petulantly. “Where’s Dick?”

“Hunting libations with Alfred.” D said quietly, his eyes half closed under Tim’s touch.

“Say wha?” Steph slurred, humming contentedly as the gel leached out the sting.

“Shopping for groceries.” Tim translated. “He said something about staying in tonight and has gone out to buy us some drinks.”

“Good plan.” Steph moaned, drooling on the towel. “Not going out like this.”

Jason coated this face in gel when back to sprawling, tossing the tube back to Tim. “Hope they’re bringing back more of that stuff. I could happily bathe in that shit right now!”

The door crashed open and Dick swept into the room. “I bring alcohol.” He announce with a flourish, insanely cheerful despite his blistering nose.

“More goo!” Steph demanded, not raising her head.

Alfred offloaded the groceries onto the table and placed a fresh tube of gel next to her hand.

“Love you.” She mumbled, nudging the tube towards Jay. “Back. Now.”

“I swear, I’m gunna slap your sunburnt butt if you keep that up.” Jay growled, smothering Steph’s skin with green.

“Won’t dare.” She growled, trying to look menacing which didn’t ever remotely work.

Dick sat down of the floor between them with a shallow bowl, several packets of chocolate covered biscuits and a bottle of some creamy looking liquor. “I got chatting to the cute girl at the supermarket...”

“Die of shock.” Jay mumbled.

“And she recommended TimTam Slammers as a way of getting over a day at the beach.” Dick continued unperturbed.

“Alright, I’ll bite.” Tim asked, rubbing D’s shoulders as the young man leant back into him. “What’s a TimTam Slammer?”

Jay sniggered. “You and that Fox girl finally getting some?” He hissed indignantly as Tim slapped him sharply across one burnt bicep. “That fucking hurt.”

“No less than you deserve.” Tim growled.

Jay rubbed his arm and lunged for the gel. “Back me up here Dick?”

Dick simply leant over and shifted the tube of aloe vera out of Jay’s reach.

“Alright. Alright.” Jay conceded. “I’m a prick! I’m sorry. Now gimme back the goo.”

Dick held out for a second, watching Jay squirm before tossing it back to him with a glare. “Next time I’ll hide it.” He threatened. “So,” he turned back to the game at hand. “As far as I understand, you bite off the ends of the cookie.”

“Biscuit.” Alfred corrected, sitting down a jug tray of ice water and watching with some amusement.

“Whatever.” Dick shrugged, “You bite off the ends of the TimTam and then suck the drink up through it like a straw. Then just when the thing collapses, you eat the lot.”

“Sounds disgusting.” Damian growled, stealing a biscuit from the packet and munching on it.

“Sounds like fun.” Steph grinned. “Load me up Dickie.”

He poured the baileys into the bowl and presented it to her as she delicately bit off the ends of the TimTam. It took her two good sucks to get anything but then the creamy liquor flooded the biscuit and she stuffed it in her mouth as it disintegrated.

“Messy much.” Dick grinned, swiping chocolate off her chin.

“But yummy!” She mumbled around a mouth full of soggy TimTam. “Guys, you have got to try this.”

***

Alfred quietly presented D with a bowl of chocolate milk as his siblings gorged themselves on alcohol drenched TimTams. “Give it a try.”

“It looks disgusting.” The youth wrinkled his nose.

“Yes but it is a lot of fun.” Alfred conceded. “I leant from an Australian chap when I was in the army. I’m rather partial to TimTams with coffee myself.”

Damian stared at the biscuit with mild repulsion. “Very well.” He bit off opposite corners (Tim’s trick for maintaining maximum TimTam integrity) and sucked vigorously. The milk splashed as he scrambled to save the crumbling biscuit, smearing chocolate around his mouth in his haste. “Alright,” He muttered as he swallowed the soggy mass, “I concede this activity has some merit.” He licked his lips and reached for another.

***

Later that night they all sprawled out on the cool tiles, too burnt for beds and too full to move.

“Do they sell those back home?” Steph asked, face down on the floor, a ring of chocolate around her lips.

“Not that I’ve ever seen.” Tim answered, his head resting in the small of Dick’s back.

“Then we need an extra suitcase to smuggle them back in.” She slurred. “I wanna do that again!”



(no subject)

Date: 2010-07-10 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyblkrose.livejournal.com
They sell TimTamns in New York too, but what can't you buy in NYC. I swear one summer I saw someone selling souls onna street corner @^_______^@

This sounds like so much fun, I'd have to try them with Kalauah or Tia Maria (coffww liqours)or even BarenJagger (honey liqour) and Cream.


Hummmmmm, Thhanks for the story baby, good sticky fun all around.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-07-11 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] munnin-odanin.livejournal.com
Sounds tasty! Let me know how it goes.

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

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