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Title: Hurts like the knife
Verse: Band!AU
Continuity: Post Black Orchid, recovery period.
Rating: R for language (Jason Fucking Todd) and angst.
Pairing: Jay, introspective.
Disclaimer: No ownership, no profit and no offence meant. Everyone is of the age of consent in their country and period of history
Author’s notes: 100% organic. May contain minor flaws and imperfections that beta-treated slash wouldn’t.
Bingo card: band!board meme – master list
here.

A/N: the entire Jay sequence is for [livejournal.com profile] alexiel_neesan as an alternative birthday present. I wasn’t just firm with my muses, I fed them to Jason!



Can still feel that fucking blade in my chest. Every time I cough or laugh (not that that happens very often any more) or breathe too deep, I feel it.

Ra’s al fucking Ghul and that fucking sword, sliding through my chest to finish me.

There are days I wish to fuck he had.

Every time Tim finches when someone touches him. Every night he wakes up screaming (which is every fucking night by the way.) Every time D looks at Timmy like he’s gunna fall on his own sword for what his Grand-daddy did. Every time I see that broken-ass look in Dick’s eyes.

And it’s get’n worse.

I know that look. That look says ‘hurt me, I need it.’ I know that look ‘cause it wasn’t that long ago that I looked like that.

Scares the shit out of me ‘cause there are days I think if I don’t do it, he’ll start doing it to himself.

Nar, it’s better this way. Pin’n Dickie to the bed and pounding his pretty ass till he cries. If it gets him where he needs to be I’m good with it. Been there, needed that.

Besides, it’s better if it’s one of us doing the hurting. We might be one fucked up family but we know how to look out for our own.


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